Ten Tips For An Awfully Unappealing Presentation

Watch paint peel...Slow. Tedious. Messy.

Great presentations require a bit of skill, forethought, a lot of work, and practice (even when doing the same presentation over and over). Giving a poor presentation is easy. Try any or all of the following tips that are guaranteed to be as exciting as watching paint peel off bricks.

1. Misspell words. To for two. Lie for lay. Delete the “i” in Public Affairs. Don’t run spell check! Forget spell check to generate laughter that isn’t a joke.
2. Use too dark or light type on a too dark or light background. Green on blue, red on black, light blue on white or yellow on peach...all are especially difficult to see.
3. Be creative with type. Combine Old English uppercase, Comic Sans italic, Times New Roman bold, Brush Script, add shadows and several underlines for emphasis and several font colors. Make it look pretty. (fyi...the design rule of thumb is no more than two fonts including different styles i.e. bold, italic, condensed of the same font)
4. Use 6 point type. Pretend you are an optometrist! With a free vision test you can say, “This isn’t readable, but here is what it says…”
5. Stttttrrrrreeeetttttcccchhhh logos and photos. This way they fit. Who cares if the circle is now an oval? Or the square is a rectangle?
6. Insert low-resolution logos, photos and graphics. They look fuzzy and faded on your computer screen and even worse when projected or blown up. Be sure to use less than 75 dpi or and smaller than 900 pixels wide by 720 pixels high.
7. Dress down. Wear a shirt “worthy of discussion.” Wear your “holy” jeans. Flip on those flops. If dress down was good enough for the White House a few years ago, it is good enough for anyone.
8. Read every word of every slide, poster, handout. Keep your back to the audience. Then you can't tell who is sleeping.
9. Use free clip art. Why spend $5 for stock images, photos or illustrations when free means kudos for being budget conscious.
10. Don't practice. Don’t rehearse and never arrive to set up early. You don’t want to seem overly polished.

Seen it, heard it or slept through the presentation? If so, may these memorable tips be memorable enough for you to remember not to use them.